Teal Swan
Teal Swan: Spiritual Influencer and Pathological Liar
Teal Swan is a self-proclaimed guru who has garnered a large following by claiming to be a spiritual catalyst. Teal hosts retreats and workshops but is unlicensed, unregulated, and dangerous as hell.
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Let's do the damn thing. I'm Jenna.
I'm Jess
And just so you know there's a trigger warning for suicide. It's a weird, hard one. So don't listen to this if you're in a dark place, because I know that researching this was very triggering for me.
Today we're going to be talking about Teal Swan, who is a new-age spiritual influencer who covers everything from breathing techniques and trauma recovery to beauty tips and crypto investing. She's just like throwing it all on the wall to see …
Wait a minute, is she like more recent? Okay I think I've heard of her
Probably because she is first of all gorge. Yeah she's got like these green eyes, like long dark auburn hair, she's like beautiful, and has a very magnetic presence and actually like a really weird voice.
Oh, I kind of like a weird voice.
I kind of like, so I know it doesn't even sound like that. I don't, it's really hard, but like if you ever listen to her speak, I don't know. I instantly dislike her by the sound of her voice.
What?
Yeah. I'm like, ew, I don't like you. But I can see how some people could really be drawn into kind of this like.
Do you remember? And I've told you this before. Do you remember that girl who did the Jake Gyllenhaal interview?
Oh, Starlee Kine? Yeah.
Yeah. I love her voice.
I do love her voice.
And she has a little bit of a lisp. oh my gosh we'll have to post to this there's this amazing podcast called Mystery Show.
Oh so good
and there's
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this one where she goes like we need more episodes to find
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out how tall jake gyllenhaal is and the guy is like the only thing i will accept
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is if i hear from his mouth how tall jake gyllenhaal is yeah so she like tracks
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down jake gyllenhaal to ask him his height and he's very coy with her yeah and
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i was like getting flustered i was like oh do i like
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jake gyllenhaal again no you know what just hearing it though
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i was like oh my god he's so if i am if
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i am experiencing blush secondhand sweats you
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know she's experiencing firsthand sweats and she just kept her cool she did
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she was a very good journalist she's a very good journalist yeah you told me
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you're six seven i'll totally believe that yeah i'm telling my i'm tell the
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world now just because he's not six seven no he's not but if you want to know
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how tall he is you You got to listen to the podcast.
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But long story long, she has like a lispy kind of really unique voice.
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And I think it's a thing.
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If anybody out there has a thing for lisps.
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Let me know because I feel real weird. I don't think I met another single person.
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Like, I don't have fetishes.
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I don't have blah, blah, blah. But if you kind of talk weird or have like a
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little sight, I don't know. Like, I just I don't know.
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It doesn't. It doesn't for me. No.
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She does not talk like that. Oh, OK. Sorry about that. She talks the whole time. I'm going to have to.
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I'll have to figure out how to make you listen. Yeah.
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Once you hear it, you're going to be like, oh, fuck. No. know so anyway even
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in events with like hundreds of people in the audience she speaks one-on-one
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with people and she very well could have intuitive abilities which helps her
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connect with these people and guide them however she is also a crock of shit
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and she's dangerous as hell damn.
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I thought i was gonna like her okay did
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you at first i did oh my god okay so teal
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was born mary teal bosworth on june 16th
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1984 in new mexico before moving with her
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family to logan Utah another Utah what the fuck
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is going on in Utah I know everything and you
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know what's funny is that there are non-Mormon organizations
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too up in Utah that were that's
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weird I know so anyways her parents
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who were park rangers did almost everything uh-huh I
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think her dad was and her mom was like an educator but so
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they did almost anything to like in their
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ability to help her fit in with their mormon neighbors.
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Who she claims wouldn't include
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her yeah i could see that they're very
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much they don't want they don't want to taint
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the water essentially yes i guess in
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her eyes but a friend who a
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friend who was mormon was like i was like
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raised with her we were like best friends yeah she's like i don't understand why
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she felt that way i don't know what she's talking about interesting
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i was thinking that maybe like they don't want
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like bad influences or things
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that you know that they don't align with to come in maybe and she seemed like
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she so like as a kid she claimed to have extrasensory abilities and this she
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thought ostracized her and she can't she claimed that kids wouldn't be allowed
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to hang out with her because only men can be viewed as prophets in the Mormon church.
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And because she was a girl experiencing these same symptoms, she was seen as evil.
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Which I don't think was true.
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I think she just is like, I don't know, huge. In my notes, it says huge eye roll.
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Yeah. So Teal's parents would take them for summer in the campgrounds to get
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them to connect with nature because they didn't want...
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Her sitting inside watching tv all day they
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bought her a horse and encouraged her to
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work with a local intuitive animal heal healer as
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an outlet because she loved animals so much and when
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she said her daughter a horse is no
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small feat yeah apparently
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they had to get rid of it because she didn't take care of it what a
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bitch no i'm really mad at her so she said
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that her abilities got to be too much they took her to
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a specialist in fucking china so i'm
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angry when i when i say all of this i'm not
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angry at them but like you'll see you'll see
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how shit gets weird yeah so and this okay i
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want to also say this this is definitely an overview of
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teal swan and what she is and why she's dangerous
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there is a really good podcast called the
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gateway by jennings brown where they deep dive
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into teal swan there's also a documentary called the deep end i don't know what
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it's on right now if you can watch it but it's also very informative and also
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fucking terrifying jeez so you can go seek out more information but this is just kind of a way to.
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Put her on your radar so you also don't get duped for this shit so teal is struggling
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and in 2006 six, she starts seeing a therapist named Barbara Snow.
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Barbara Snow used repressed memory therapy and was heavily involved in the satanic
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panic of the late 80s and had already gotten in trouble for using questionable techniques.
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Later, it was real, she used these techniques on her family,
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which is a huge no-no. No, yeah, yeah.
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So repressed memory therapy is a V controversial modality.
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Our brains aren't accurate recording devices, and this modality suggests that
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through Through hypnosis, guided imagery, or age regression meditations,
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a subject can uncover a past trauma that they have suppressed that resulted in unwanted behavior.
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It's been largely discredited and has resulted in people falsely believing they
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were victims of sexual abuse and had to deal with the consequences of that falsely implanted memory.
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Do you know who I'm thinking of right now? Oh my god, actually there's a trigger
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warning for sexual abuse too.
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Who are you thinking of? I'm thinking of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Yeah.
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Are you there yet? No, yeah. Yeah, Whitney Rose. Yeah. Yeah.
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That's exactly what I'm thinking of right now. Okay.
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Possibly but also so people do
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repress memories however the difference
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is is that you might have a repressed memory and
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something starts to unearth it however if you just go in to a therapist and
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they're like let's do this repressed memory theory or therapy on you and you
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don't have one and they're highly suggesting that something could have happened
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you like because i think I think Whitney Rose's family has verified that something
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did happen. That it was actual.
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Oh, that's so bad.
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Yeah. So I think that they have said that something did happen. Mm-hmm.
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And she, because repressed memories are a thing. However, it's not like a blanket thing.
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And a lot of times, depending on the therapist, they might not have a therapist
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who has great ethics, who is like, will add leading questions.
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This woman, Barbara Snow, almost all of her repressed memory cases had to do with satanic ritual.
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Yeah, exactly. Okay, I was just going to say. Okay, there's that many people.
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Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here.
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I typically like a Barbara too. I love a Barb, except for her apparently.
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I don't really know many Barbs, but Barbara Snow seemed to be implanting memories
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of sexual assault, satanic ritual abuse, and forced medical testing in her patients.
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Forced fucking medical testing?
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Yeah, I don't know. Like a weird stranger thing as shit. So as a patient of
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Snow's, Teal started to, quote, recover memories.
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Those memories were that that intuitive vet that she worked with as a kid was
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actually part of two rival satanic cults because he had split personalities.
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One was a purely satanist cult.
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The other one was a dark sect of the Mormon church that was looking for blood atonement.
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Both were murdering young girls as a blood sacrifice. she
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was sexually she was sexually
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mentally physically and spiritually abused however
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she was never killed because her abilities made her quote the
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chosen one she claimed from the age of six until 19 she was just at the hands
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of these two cults and at one point she was sewn into another human body and
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left for hours which is technically impossible yeah what the fuck Look,
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absolutely not.
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She claims to have escaped. Go inside, like wearing a sleeve,
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essentially, of another human's body. Yeah.
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Just like i don't know it doesn't make sense no so she says that all this happens
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just like right under her parents nose and that they had no idea because they
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weren't really attentive which
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like which is really fucked up yeah didn't they just drive you to china.
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Didn't they just put you on their back and walk their asses to china didn't they put you on your
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horse they bought you and got it the way
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to china that is so fucked up to
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paint your parents in a picture like i mean even
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if they're not the most perfect parents and like her one of her best friends
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in childhood that she grew up with the mormon even though she said that mormons
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weren't allowed to hang out with her right was like i was with her during all
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of these times and none of this happened there was no possible way that any
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of this could have happened yeah see that's so So fucking stupid.
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There's no way. That's so stupid.
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That makes me mad. So Barbara Snow did call the authorities on Teal's behalf,
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but authorities couldn't verify any of the allegations. Yeah,
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because she fucking made it up.
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Yeah. And reportedly, they did look into them.
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Good. And then they closed the case because it was going nowhere.
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All to find nothing. Yeah. So Teal claims that she had escaped sometime when
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she was 19 and hid with an acquaintance named Blake at the time until she got back on her feet.
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So she hides out with him for years, going through this repressed memory recovery and spiraling.
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And Blake encourages her to get on YouTube to tell her story,
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to share encouraging words, and inspire people who might be going through the same thing, I guess.
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I need to look her up. Within a short time, Teal's page blows up,
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and she starts coaching clients one-on-one and leading seminars,
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retreats, collects a loyal group of followers who call themselves the Teal Tribe.
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And she's literally throwing spaghetti at the wall. Her videos range from how
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to stop a panic attack to how to manifest money, what is color therapy,
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or one of her most popular is, quote, I want to kill myself.
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What to do if you're suicidal. Oh, my God.
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That's, um, she looks like she would write all those books. I got,
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like, ragey and I, like, mispronounced them. Because I was like, ah!
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I hate you. Psycho. She looks beautiful. She's beautiful. Scorch.
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Beautiful. Help me connect the dots, though. Yeah. So in this video,
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she superficially tells people who are feeling suicidal to seek medical attention.
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She's like, okay, seek medical attention if you must, basically.
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Basically but that then goes on to tell viewers that
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suicide can be a reset button that is always available
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oh my god are you fucking
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kidding me which is egregious that is fucking terrible because it sets the wrong
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expectation yes like you do not come back what's more for the record you do
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not come back you do not come it is not a reset button no so what's more egregious is that
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she has admitted to using SEO to drive suicidal browsers to her video.
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What's even more egregious is that in the 27,000-member Facebook group,
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at least one member has expressed a desire to end their life,
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and the video was put in the comments, not in an asshole's trying to be funny
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way, but like in a sincere way.
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A week later, that member was dead. No.
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That's fucking nasty. So that person's life, honestly, their blood is on her hands for sure.
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Like it it's on that community's hands
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for sure yeah a previous client of hers had also ended their life after teal
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had told her she needed to either commit to life or to commit to death and then
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she chose the latter in the documentary and at first and at the first at first
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i was like okay when i was reading this i was like this is like very maybe,
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interpretive or like how she says this maybe it's like misconstrued in the documentary
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series or the docuseries, The Deep End.
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There's like five minutes. These people are all coming up on stage and talking.
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She's giving life advice.
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And this woman is telling her about her depression. And she's like, why are you still here?
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And the lady's like, well, like trying to clarify or articulate her question.
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And she stops her and she's like, no, I mean, like, why are you still here on this planet?
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Like play both sides out and make up your mind. Oh, my fucking God.
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I was like, she's That is disgusting. Yeah. Within like the first like five
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minutes of the documentary, I was like, the fuck? Rage.
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Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. And how dare you put yourself,
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like she positions herself to be like some sort of like. Authority. Yeah.
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And she's out there telling people to off themselves essentially, like make a decision.
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What are you doing here? Essentially insinuating that like you're so upset.
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Why are you still here? Yeah. And I don't want to blame her.
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Like, it's hard, like, with these sorts of feelings, I think that it's hard
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to blame a person for causing someone to take their own life because obviously
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there's a lot of other factors.
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Yeah. But I think that she's at fault for peddling shit that's unproven and
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presenting herself as an, like, as an authority who is not qualified to do a goddamn thing.
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Yeah. But I say it is, you know, she's, there's some, she had a,
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she had a part to play in the whole thing.
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Yeah. Like, anybody that even suggests that as an option, you fucking,
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like, get out of here. You're disgusting. Get out of there.
350
00:23:39.913 --> 00:23:43.273
And when you're at rock bottom and you're on the internet and it funnels you
351
00:23:43.273 --> 00:23:44.693
to horror. It looks like a good option.
352
00:23:44.713 --> 00:23:48.133
And she looks like it's a lifeline, but, like. It's a reset button.
353
00:23:48.393 --> 00:23:51.613
A reset button. Fuck off. Get the fuck off. And I want to be clear that these
354
00:23:51.613 --> 00:23:54.573
views on suicide are not up to date with current research.
355
00:23:54.853 --> 00:23:58.093
And there's no such, like, let's try that again.
356
00:23:58.453 --> 00:24:01.973
Like, this isn't. There is no. No, I've never heard that in my life. No.
357
00:24:02.313 --> 00:24:05.753
And honestly, we don't, there isn't much research on suicide.
358
00:24:05.793 --> 00:24:07.593
It's underfunded and super lacking.
359
00:24:08.213 --> 00:24:12.873
But what is known is that the mention of suicide in media and suicides within
360
00:24:12.873 --> 00:24:16.513
a community increases the chance of subsequent suicides. Yeah.
361
00:24:16.853 --> 00:24:19.553
Like you're giving it light. People think about it.
362
00:24:19.593 --> 00:24:24.433
People, there are whole groups that talk about how they're going to do it.
363
00:24:24.453 --> 00:24:28.213
And people are like, you should like, this is like, this is what I would suggest.
364
00:24:28.213 --> 00:24:31.253
Like they're yeah like it's it's really dark
365
00:24:31.253 --> 00:24:34.893
and it's really fucking sad and i don't
366
00:24:34.893 --> 00:24:37.673
know i just wish that they didn't exist i wish that people just
367
00:24:37.673 --> 00:24:41.733
had access to the help yeah so the
368
00:24:41.733 --> 00:24:47.953
national suicide prevention lifeline yes there are people there to talk to so
369
00:24:47.953 --> 00:24:52.313
if this is bringing up some weird feelings you can call that there is the number
370
00:24:52.313 --> 00:24:58.013
is 1-800-273-8255 and then i'll repeat Repeat that at the end again.
371
00:24:58.233 --> 00:25:00.153
Yes, you will. If I remember.
372
00:25:00.513 --> 00:25:02.333
I'll remind you. Okay, yeah, remind me.
373
00:25:03.313 --> 00:25:06.233
Because did I have to scroll all the way back in my notes? Yeah,
374
00:25:06.293 --> 00:25:09.773
but it was a worthy scroll. Because I got lazy. I said I got lazy and in my
375
00:25:09.773 --> 00:25:11.073
notes I put scroll to the end.
376
00:25:12.113 --> 00:25:16.093
Rather than just putting it in there. That's a woman who knows her song. I know.
377
00:25:18.933 --> 00:25:22.313
That is so funny. But yeah, no, that's fucking disgust, honestly.
378
00:25:22.313 --> 00:25:27.773
And I think because I am so lucky to never have had an experience where anybody
379
00:25:27.773 --> 00:25:34.913
that I know personally or have been close with has chosen that.
380
00:25:35.033 --> 00:25:42.513
But one of my very best friends had a very, very close family member do that.
381
00:25:42.613 --> 00:25:44.753
And it's fucking earth shattering.
382
00:25:44.973 --> 00:25:47.193
It is so sad.
383
00:25:47.633 --> 00:25:52.733
It's so sad. Get the help you need, guys, or call that number.
384
00:25:53.938 --> 00:25:59.138
Okay, let's go. Oh, no, I just like zoned for a minute and was like, oh, yeah, zombied.
385
00:25:59.158 --> 00:26:02.438
Okay, so in 2016, she wrote a book called The Completion Process,
386
00:26:02.658 --> 00:26:06.578
which details her method for recovering and healing from lost trauma.
387
00:26:06.958 --> 00:26:11.418
It's a mixture of Barbara Snow's recovered memory technique and Carl Jung's shadow work.
388
00:26:11.578 --> 00:26:15.078
And she holds retreats where she guides people through the completion process.
389
00:26:15.538 --> 00:26:21.258
Some exercise include partner work where one person is channeling the energy of the abuser.
390
00:26:21.258 --> 00:26:24.338
And oftentimes it gets really intense and people believe
391
00:26:24.338 --> 00:26:27.178
that they are momentarily possessed by the spirit of the
392
00:26:27.178 --> 00:26:30.098
abuser the fuck i know
393
00:26:30.098 --> 00:26:33.118
there's also an optional exercise where
394
00:26:33.118 --> 00:26:36.058
a person is held underwater and only let up
395
00:26:36.058 --> 00:26:39.058
sporadically for air in the documentary
396
00:26:39.058 --> 00:26:42.598
it's very alarming and i'm not sure how
397
00:26:42.598 --> 00:26:46.078
they do this because it's a super liability yeah that's
398
00:26:46.078 --> 00:26:48.838
trauma but fucking thing holding
399
00:26:48.838 --> 00:26:51.478
me underwater yeah and then like afterwards she's like
400
00:26:51.478 --> 00:26:55.338
cradling her and she's like i love you oh my
401
00:26:55.338 --> 00:26:58.238
god i don't know it's so
402
00:26:58.238 --> 00:27:05.258
fucking weird that is crazy i i like i was this close to taking your life but
403
00:27:05.258 --> 00:27:10.038
i love you yeah it's fucking weird it's weird so there are no met there have
404
00:27:10.038 --> 00:27:13.838
been no medical studies on the effectiveness effectiveness of the completion
405
00:27:13.838 --> 00:27:17.078
process and And again, Teal is not a licensed professional,
406
00:27:17.478 --> 00:27:23.718
medical, psychiatric, or otherwise to perform any sort of group therapy sessions, which she does.
407
00:27:25.138 --> 00:27:31.538
And in one scene, which angers me so much, one guy is like, if you're at the
408
00:27:31.538 --> 00:27:34.078
top, where do you get your inspiration? Where do you get your information from?
409
00:27:34.438 --> 00:27:38.938
And she is so mad. And she's like, why should someone be above me?
410
00:27:39.138 --> 00:27:41.878
No one is more enlightened than me. So I only look up to myself.
411
00:27:43.027 --> 00:27:47.067
And which is like so fucking nerve.
412
00:27:47.687 --> 00:27:53.427
Yeah. It's like so dangerous because she's like, I don't I'm the most enlightened being on this planet.
413
00:27:53.647 --> 00:27:57.007
So why would anybody be above me? Why would anyone be above me?
414
00:27:57.027 --> 00:28:01.227
And he's like, I just find I'm having a hard time with like thinking like you
415
00:28:01.227 --> 00:28:05.807
don't like you think that you're the main authority and like there's no like
416
00:28:05.807 --> 00:28:08.067
there's above you to like keep you in check.
417
00:28:08.127 --> 00:28:11.427
And she's like, why would I need to be kept in check because I'm a woman?
418
00:28:12.307 --> 00:28:16.987
No, don't turn it into something it's fucking not. Uh-huh. That's some low-hanging fruit you just grabbed.
419
00:28:17.167 --> 00:28:19.967
Do not even. Do not. Yeah. And
420
00:28:19.967 --> 00:28:24.827
I really do believe is that she keeps her students not by healing them,
421
00:28:24.907 --> 00:28:29.467
but keeping them in a trauma loop where she's constantly like re-traumatizing
422
00:28:29.467 --> 00:28:32.547
them and making them relive their experience,
423
00:28:32.687 --> 00:28:34.447
but telling them it's for their benefit.
424
00:28:34.807 --> 00:28:38.047
That is so fucking crazy. But like some of the things that she's doing by doing
425
00:28:38.047 --> 00:28:43.087
this recovered memory process is implanting, of course, memories of sexual abuse
426
00:28:43.087 --> 00:28:45.867
and satanic ritual abuse that didn't happen.
427
00:28:46.027 --> 00:28:48.267
And now these people think that it happened.
428
00:28:48.527 --> 00:28:52.347
And so they're literally feeling like a victim. They isolate themselves from
429
00:28:52.347 --> 00:28:54.527
their family members because they think that they've abused them.
430
00:28:54.707 --> 00:28:58.467
Yeah. And so now she's their only lifeline. And it's so dangerous.
431
00:28:58.727 --> 00:29:03.207
Oh, my God. I literally didn't even think of that. You push the people away
432
00:29:03.207 --> 00:29:06.067
that are close to you because you think that they've hurt you.
433
00:29:06.127 --> 00:29:08.727
But those are the people also that would say like, Like, hey,
434
00:29:08.747 --> 00:29:11.647
this is not right. Yeah, this isn't right. Red flag, red flag.
435
00:29:12.027 --> 00:29:17.447
Yeah. So in 2018, a six-part investigative podcast called The Gateway by Jennings
436
00:29:17.447 --> 00:29:23.307
Brown was released that questioned Teal's qualifications and the message that
437
00:29:23.307 --> 00:29:24.107
she was putting out there.
438
00:29:24.727 --> 00:29:30.607
She was not stoked on it. No, I bet. I suggest – I'll put it in the show notes if I do show notes.
439
00:29:30.867 --> 00:29:33.267
But actually, no, I will for this one because I think this one's important.
440
00:29:33.427 --> 00:29:35.547
Yeah, because you're going to put the phone number for the suicide prevention
441
00:29:35.547 --> 00:29:41.767
line. So I encourage everyone to listen for context and figure out how dangerous she really is.
442
00:29:41.967 --> 00:29:46.347
And Jennings Brown argues that as long as mental health services in this country
443
00:29:46.347 --> 00:29:47.727
remain unavailable to people,
444
00:29:47.847 --> 00:29:54.147
people will turn to like personalities like Teal who are not qualified whatsoever
445
00:29:54.147 --> 00:30:00.787
to be giving advice or guidance rather than something that they're not sure
446
00:30:00.787 --> 00:30:03.047
is it's not quite working.
447
00:30:04.453 --> 00:30:08.553
So they're going to like figure something else out. Right. And they're not aware that it's not working.
448
00:30:09.393 --> 00:30:14.633
In the podcast, he also asked her how she feels about being labeled a cult leader.
449
00:30:15.453 --> 00:30:18.033
And this is her response. Did she love it? This is a quote. No.
450
00:30:18.573 --> 00:30:21.533
This is a quote. I can't do her voice because it's like.
451
00:30:22.073 --> 00:30:25.173
But she says, what do I say to people saying I run a cult?
452
00:30:25.653 --> 00:30:28.933
Here's the thing. A lot of people are going to demonize me because of my honesty.
453
00:30:29.373 --> 00:30:33.373
I have a perfect recipe for a cult and I fucking know it. I have a demographic
454
00:30:33.373 --> 00:30:37.393
of people who are miserably isolated, who need belonging desperately,
455
00:30:37.713 --> 00:30:39.173
and that's what makes me safe.
456
00:30:39.333 --> 00:30:41.513
These people are desperate. They need my approval.
457
00:30:41.773 --> 00:30:45.613
They will do whatever the hell I say. The only reason that it is not steered
458
00:30:45.613 --> 00:30:47.293
that way is because of my ethics.
459
00:30:48.353 --> 00:30:51.473
Your fucking ethics? Yeah.
460
00:30:51.693 --> 00:30:56.413
Who thinks this shit? Who says it out loud? I know. Who goes on record?
461
00:30:56.833 --> 00:31:00.433
Yeah, who goes on record being like, I have the perfect recipe for a cult?
462
00:31:00.593 --> 00:31:03.473
And I know it. I know these people would do anything for me.
463
00:31:03.553 --> 00:31:04.873
These people are desperate. They fucking need me.
464
00:31:05.113 --> 00:31:07.353
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here, you wretched human being. How do you,
465
00:31:07.373 --> 00:31:09.773
as her followers, not be a little bit, like, offended?
466
00:31:10.193 --> 00:31:13.333
Literally, I'm like, did you think that your followers are not going to listen
467
00:31:13.333 --> 00:31:17.233
to this? They live and breathe you. You're essentially calling them idiots.
468
00:31:18.273 --> 00:31:24.293
Well, she's also being like, I'm misrepresented. So in the 2022 docuseries called
469
00:31:24.293 --> 00:31:30.873
The Deep End, it shows Teal trying to somewhat like come back from the picture
470
00:31:30.873 --> 00:31:32.513
that the Gateway had painted.
471
00:31:32.733 --> 00:31:35.853
And it's so chilling. It's another good watch.
472
00:31:36.113 --> 00:31:40.933
But it also has been accused of taking dramatic license not only from Teal but
473
00:31:40.933 --> 00:31:44.953
from like other people that are like this is edited like super dramatically.
474
00:31:44.953 --> 00:31:48.653
But in it, she asks her followers to sign a contract to, quote,
475
00:31:48.733 --> 00:31:53.293
keep her safe by giving up basically all autonomy. Red flag. She doesn't want kids.
476
00:31:53.873 --> 00:31:56.633
Significant others will also be required to sign the contract.
477
00:31:56.733 --> 00:32:00.633
And what the contract says is that what she wants goes above everything.
478
00:32:00.633 --> 00:32:01.673
Above everything. Right.
479
00:32:02.383 --> 00:32:06.263
And it's yeah red fucking
480
00:32:06.263 --> 00:32:09.043
why yeah so it's good to
481
00:32:09.043 --> 00:32:11.903
be wary of someone like this but she's also
482
00:32:11.903 --> 00:32:14.883
fucking nuts she claims to
483
00:32:14.883 --> 00:32:17.643
be a medical savant that she can look at you and
484
00:32:17.643 --> 00:32:20.383
know how your liver is processing and how your cells are
485
00:32:20.383 --> 00:32:24.643
working lord help me understand it
486
00:32:24.643 --> 00:32:27.583
doesn't know like in the documentary she
487
00:32:27.583 --> 00:32:30.423
berates one woman for the thoughts she was having that were
488
00:32:30.423 --> 00:32:33.523
unfavorable because she's psychic she like lists
489
00:32:33.523 --> 00:32:36.543
off she's like teal is the worst teal is
490
00:32:36.543 --> 00:32:39.383
this teal is this like all these things that she says that
491
00:32:39.383 --> 00:32:43.563
the woman has thought and just like she's on a rail to her she's like i'm psychic
492
00:32:43.563 --> 00:32:49.303
i fucking know that you don't like me yeah she was like excuse me crazy like
493
00:32:49.303 --> 00:32:57.723
what the fuck uh-huh she also says that she has access to the akashic records and And wait, hold on.
494
00:32:58.443 --> 00:33:02.343
Akashic. The Akashic records are a collection of all thoughts,
495
00:33:02.463 --> 00:33:05.583
words, emotions, actions, and intent that have ever happened,
496
00:33:05.723 --> 00:33:09.283
are happening, or will happen in the past, present, or future.
497
00:33:09.603 --> 00:33:13.963
So she says that she knows all, basically. She's an all-knowing being.
498
00:33:14.323 --> 00:33:20.843
She also has claimed to be half human, half alien, specifically a member of
499
00:33:20.843 --> 00:33:26.963
the panel of Arcturian beings who exist in a six-dimensional non-physical plane.
500
00:33:27.903 --> 00:33:33.663
She asserts that if there's anyone who is superior to her on this planet,
501
00:33:33.803 --> 00:33:37.223
she hasn't met them, and therefore nobody should question her authority.
502
00:33:37.643 --> 00:33:42.003
Her mission, in her own words, is to be more spiritually influential than the Pope.
503
00:33:42.623 --> 00:33:48.543
Oh my god. She is fucking crazy. I am not a super Catholic person.
504
00:33:48.683 --> 00:33:51.423
I am Catholic, but I'm not super, you know, whatever. but i feel
505
00:33:51.423 --> 00:33:54.943
like anybody who compares themselves to somebody so high
506
00:33:54.943 --> 00:33:58.523
like it's fucking crazy crazy talk and
507
00:33:58.523 --> 00:34:01.683
so she's so dangerous i know her parents so my oh
508
00:34:01.683 --> 00:34:04.483
i know her poor parents are they still alive they are still
509
00:34:04.483 --> 00:34:07.423
alive and they support her which i i don't
510
00:34:07.423 --> 00:34:10.723
know how she so her friend there's an
511
00:34:10.723 --> 00:34:13.403
email hold on let me see
512
00:34:13.403 --> 00:34:20.023
if i can find it so her friend diana hansen is the friend that from girl with
513
00:34:20.023 --> 00:34:26.263
her she i guess had run into teal at a park and she was like oh my god like
514
00:34:26.263 --> 00:34:32.423
i can't we're like hooking up again like oh this is like so cool yeah she emails her.
515
00:34:34.934 --> 00:34:40.614
She emails her and is like, hi, it's Teal. Fun seeing you again.
516
00:34:40.854 --> 00:34:42.934
For some reason, I don't believe in coincidence.
517
00:34:43.234 --> 00:34:46.694
Our lives continue to run parallel. I realize going through a divorce is really
518
00:34:46.694 --> 00:34:50.694
hard, 30 times harder with a child. But even so, you seem really happy.
519
00:34:50.854 --> 00:34:53.994
OK, I'm going to skip over things. It's a nice city. Hi, it's Teal.
520
00:34:54.294 --> 00:34:57.114
Fun seeing you again. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
521
00:34:58.054 --> 00:35:01.414
She says, it's very hard for me to explain the whole thing without going into
522
00:35:01.414 --> 00:35:04.134
detail tale that makes people shut down.
523
00:35:04.234 --> 00:35:08.594
And it's hard for me to tell the entire story without getting set off, etc.
524
00:35:09.074 --> 00:35:13.094
This is the letter Mark, her husband at the time, sent to his mother about it,
525
00:35:13.114 --> 00:35:15.374
about why she left and came back.
526
00:35:15.894 --> 00:35:19.734
He, being logical like he is, is coming from a third person perspective,
527
00:35:19.814 --> 00:35:21.794
is better at explaining the overview to people.
528
00:35:21.934 --> 00:35:25.934
I figured this would be the best way. so she basically
529
00:35:25.934 --> 00:35:28.694
sends her a cc of this
530
00:35:28.694 --> 00:35:31.694
email that is from her husband at
531
00:35:31.694 --> 00:35:35.114
the time to his mom and details all of
532
00:35:35.114 --> 00:35:38.074
her like bullshit story so
533
00:35:38.074 --> 00:35:41.134
this is like how she did it but people have said this
534
00:35:41.134 --> 00:35:45.034
is this teal's so this is teal's ex-husband
535
00:35:45.034 --> 00:35:47.954
wrote this supposedly wrote this to his mom to his mom but
536
00:35:47.954 --> 00:35:50.954
people have compared her writing style with the style of
537
00:35:50.954 --> 00:35:53.874
the email they think that she actually crafted
538
00:35:53.874 --> 00:35:57.054
the email and he just sent it yeah but it basically
539
00:35:57.054 --> 00:36:00.894
lists all of the things from it's
540
00:36:00.894 --> 00:36:04.354
like there is a list that says from age
541
00:36:04.354 --> 00:36:07.014
6 to 19 teal was and this is
542
00:36:07.014 --> 00:36:09.954
a huge trigger warning for all the things so maybe just like skip ahead 30 seconds
543
00:36:09.954 --> 00:36:13.474
if you don't want to if you don't want to listen was tortured
544
00:36:13.474 --> 00:36:16.414
physically and sexually in rituals forced to participate in
545
00:36:16.414 --> 00:36:19.334
sacrifices raped starved forced to undergo
546
00:36:19.334 --> 00:36:23.154
three abortions photographed for sadomasochistic pornography
547
00:36:23.154 --> 00:36:30.014
sold for money for sold for money to men for sex out of a gas outdoor gas station
548
00:36:30.014 --> 00:36:35.074
bathroom kept in basements kept in a hole in the ground exposed to electroshock
549
00:36:35.074 --> 00:36:39.534
programming forced to undergo isolation torture left overnight and tied up in
550
00:36:39.534 --> 00:36:40.954
lava caves in southern in Idaho,
551
00:36:41.034 --> 00:36:46.394
forced to participate in bestiality and necrophilia, drugged out on ketamine.
552
00:36:47.414 --> 00:36:55.134
Chased through the Idaho and Utah wilderness by this vet who was usually on
553
00:36:55.134 --> 00:36:58.994
one of his mules playing tracking games in which he would hunt her and undergo
554
00:36:58.994 --> 00:37:02.474
many heinous tortures if she was caught,
555
00:37:02.674 --> 00:37:09.834
used as a lure to other children that ended up being hurt or on three reoccasions killed,
556
00:37:10.114 --> 00:37:13.454
and the list goes on. I'm literally...
557
00:37:14.527 --> 00:37:18.087
Then there is a fucking loss for words. Like you can't.
558
00:37:18.287 --> 00:37:21.367
I almost was going to say you can't make this shit up. She did.
559
00:37:21.527 --> 00:37:26.127
She did. She did. She literally did. Like it's so fucking outlandish.
560
00:37:26.127 --> 00:37:30.647
There's a lot of like background history on like this lore too where she's like
561
00:37:30.647 --> 00:37:33.607
satanic people are more into holidays than even Christians are.
562
00:37:33.707 --> 00:37:37.847
They observe solstice and equinox and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
563
00:37:37.947 --> 00:37:42.207
Or like blood atonement for those who don't know is blah, blah.
564
00:37:42.207 --> 00:37:47.967
Like she just goes on the history oh blood atonement remains an important doctrine
565
00:37:47.967 --> 00:37:54.147
within the mormon fund within mormon fundamentalism with a meat within mainstream mormonism.
566
00:37:55.067 --> 00:37:58.867
Lds has informally opined
567
00:37:58.867 --> 00:38:01.767
since 1978 the doctrine is
568
00:38:01.767 --> 00:38:05.267
no longer in force like it's just like who's writing
569
00:38:05.267 --> 00:38:08.347
this to their mother i don't fucking know teal was writing
570
00:38:08.347 --> 00:38:11.927
this to her ex-husband's mother yeah so
571
00:38:11.927 --> 00:38:15.267
it's just i didn't even
572
00:38:15.267 --> 00:38:18.207
know she was married i didn't even know that somebody she's had like 10 million
573
00:38:18.207 --> 00:38:21.047
husbands i don't know i don't care how many husbands she's had
574
00:38:21.047 --> 00:38:25.107
or whatever but drinking the kool-aid yeah but
575
00:38:25.107 --> 00:38:28.107
yeah so that is basically my entire coverage on
576
00:38:28.107 --> 00:38:30.907
teal swan i encourage everyone to look into it with
577
00:38:30.907 --> 00:38:33.727
a skeptical eye to listen to the podcast cast to read
578
00:38:33.727 --> 00:38:37.527
the docuseries or watch the docuseries and
579
00:38:37.527 --> 00:38:40.187
she's still out because i don't want to claim to be the authority on all the
580
00:38:40.187 --> 00:38:43.227
things because there was so much stuff and none of it makes sense
581
00:38:43.227 --> 00:38:48.367
no so this is a bit of an overview so that you can kind of just alert alert
582
00:38:48.367 --> 00:38:53.727
don't get dip your toes in so you know what's fucked up so that so you recognize
583
00:38:53.727 --> 00:39:00.227
bullshit when you see it yeah what a terrible fucking human being yeah and she's
584
00:39:00.227 --> 00:39:01.607
still teal swanning somewhere where
585
00:39:01.627 --> 00:39:05.507
she lived yeah she's so i i think that she has a retreat center in costa rica
586
00:39:05.507 --> 00:39:13.147
but i think mostly utah oof i know all right well i know what should we call
587
00:39:13.147 --> 00:39:15.707
this one i don't even know.
588
00:39:16.527 --> 00:39:21.687
I didn't even think about it i'm tails nothing is fucking true a huge fucking
589
00:39:21.687 --> 00:39:28.247
liar yeah you definitely did not get sewn into a human body yeah you fucking
590
00:39:28.247 --> 00:39:31.267
stupid fucking liar like Like, do you hear yourself?
591
00:39:31.827 --> 00:39:34.567
Do you hear yourself? Do you hear yourself, Teal? Yeah.
592
00:39:34.847 --> 00:39:39.387
Do you hear yourself? Do you not, like, get taken aback by what you are yourself
593
00:39:39.387 --> 00:39:41.467
saying? Like, it doesn't make sense.
594
00:39:41.867 --> 00:39:45.667
I mean, at least, like, if you're going to lie, make them, like,
595
00:39:45.687 --> 00:39:47.027
reasonable lies. Right.
596
00:39:47.707 --> 00:39:52.647
This lady does not know how to lie to save her life. No. But people still are
597
00:39:52.647 --> 00:39:54.567
eating it up. People still listen.
598
00:39:55.427 --> 00:39:58.667
Because they're in a desperate space. And that's the thing. She's even,
599
00:39:58.767 --> 00:40:02.287
she's put it out there. She has said, these people are desperate.
600
00:40:02.387 --> 00:40:03.547
They will listen to anything.
601
00:40:04.387 --> 00:40:07.467
Fucking piece of shit. Yeah, exactly. Fucking piece of shit.
602
00:40:07.507 --> 00:40:11.907
That is the name. Teal is a fucking piece of shit. Piece of shit, swan.
603
00:40:13.078 --> 00:40:18.218
Woof all right we hope she gets diarrhea i hope she gets diarrhea out of her
604
00:40:18.218 --> 00:40:22.538
ears out of all the orifices her nose so she has to smell it as it's coming
605
00:40:22.538 --> 00:40:24.678
chunky diarrhea through her urethra,
606
00:40:25.518 --> 00:40:30.098
why did i have to say i don't know i think a nose would be worse i think it's
607
00:40:30.098 --> 00:40:33.738
just all about yeah you're right a nose would be worse but it'd be painful through
608
00:40:33.738 --> 00:40:39.318
wouldn't it also be painful for your nose i just can't imagine i just hate vomiting
609
00:40:39.318 --> 00:40:43.398
in general but if it was poop whoa Whoa. We're the fuck worse.
610
00:40:44.218 --> 00:40:48.638
Get diarrhea. Well, maybe we do need to get on the witchcraft. Yeah. No.
611
00:40:50.278 --> 00:40:54.558
You really wouldn't. You wouldn't give Teal Swan diarrhea.
612
00:40:55.038 --> 00:40:59.818
Revenge diarrhea. I would. I actually would give Teal Swan revenge diarrhea. Absolutely.
613
00:41:00.218 --> 00:41:05.058
See, you're right. There we go. Me and Teal Swan. It's easier than I thought
614
00:41:05.058 --> 00:41:07.598
to practice black magic. Yeah.
615
00:41:08.278 --> 00:41:12.538
Don't let me. because you'll just be fucking diarrhea-ing everywhere.
616
00:41:12.538 --> 00:41:16.358
We have a list of now 30 people. Yeah, that we would give. Yeah.
617
00:41:17.498 --> 00:41:20.858
Just the worst diarrhea out of all the orifices.
618
00:41:21.838 --> 00:41:28.138
The worst diarrhea. And that would be like the ultimate like during the worst
619
00:41:28.138 --> 00:41:30.118
time, by the way, not just diarrhea at any moment.
620
00:41:30.238 --> 00:41:33.818
It's like at the time when you should not be having the worst diarrhea.
621
00:41:33.818 --> 00:41:39.698
It's at a time where you are having to feel very vulnerable and you're like
622
00:41:39.698 --> 00:41:43.438
when you need to go get a massage, but you can't relax because you have diarrhea.
623
00:41:44.784 --> 00:41:50.284
You're going in for a job interview. Diarrhea. You're the maid of honor at your
624
00:41:50.284 --> 00:41:52.624
best friend's wedding. Diarrhea. Out your eyes.
625
00:41:53.284 --> 00:41:56.684
Out of your eyes and nose. Yeah. Diarrhea through your tear ducts.
626
00:41:56.684 --> 00:42:00.264
You know, like those scary movies where like kids and like adults and old people,
627
00:42:00.304 --> 00:42:04.824
they like bleed from the eyes and everyone's like, ah, like an exorcism or something. Diarrhea.
628
00:42:05.984 --> 00:42:11.964
That's. That would be. Okay. All right. Maybe we need. Things to do. Black magic diarrhea.
629
00:42:12.224 --> 00:42:15.684
Check. We're going to. We're on it. we're gonna add to cow.
630
00:42:17.664 --> 00:42:20.764
Figure it out if you practice
631
00:42:20.764 --> 00:42:25.624
witchcraft hit us up and tell us what candles and
632
00:42:25.624 --> 00:42:29.984
ingredients we need do we need like a lock of hair do we just need like one
633
00:42:29.984 --> 00:42:33.884
of those like do we need one of those like voodoo dolls that come out of a vending
634
00:42:33.884 --> 00:42:38.364
machine I mean we can make shit happen the lock of hair I don't think I don't
635
00:42:38.364 --> 00:42:42.604
think we're gonna get a lock of hair but can we use like some leaves
636
00:42:42.884 --> 00:42:45.984
i can draw yeah i can
637
00:42:45.984 --> 00:42:48.624
craft really well so like tell me what i need to
638
00:42:48.624 --> 00:42:52.524
craft anything up with a glue gun oh yeah mine
639
00:42:52.524 --> 00:42:55.304
is broken i need a replacement but like so cheap now
640
00:42:55.304 --> 00:42:58.624
i love it so much okay all right
641
00:42:58.624 --> 00:43:01.684
well thanks for listening thanks for listening
642
00:43:01.684 --> 00:43:04.604
uh which has hit us up the phone number
643
00:43:04.604 --> 00:43:08.224
again oh yes yes yes yes yep so again for
644
00:43:08.224 --> 00:43:12.164
those in the back who were like i didn't catch that really fast if you were
645
00:43:12.164 --> 00:43:16.484
struggling with suicide suicidal thoughts or depression please call the national
646
00:43:16.484 --> 00:43:24.384
suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 please and we love you we love
647
00:43:24.384 --> 00:43:25.604
you don't do anything crazy.
648
00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:49.879
Music.